Re-Entry

It has been nearly a year since I last posted a blog. And so much has happened. I won't even to try to spill it all in this entry—I suppose it will all come with time.

We'll just cover the bigger points.

I got off the wheel. We got off the wheel. We both quit our jobs. He no longer works for the government and I no longer have to sell my soul in advertising. We are both sleeping much better. We live and work with people with special needs on a working organic farm.

Most people will read that last sentence and roll their eyes and think I've bought a one-way ticket to Hippieville. But it's far from the truth. The farm is legit... a non-profit international organization that has been around for over a half century, offering volunteers Blue Cross Blue Shield, paid vacations, holidays and family leave—not to mention ample opportunity to work abroad if you so desire.

Drinking the Kool-aid is optional.

After the big move, I took two weeks to go down to Houston for the birth of our gorgeous girl—and my first grandchild. Madison Michelle was born January 11, 2008. She weighed in at 8 lbs. 9 oz. and was long-legged like her mama—all 21 inches of her.

I spent two weeks sleeping on the sofa, tag-teaming with feedings and diaper duty. For the first week, I managed to smile and make small talk with the baby daddy, Bob. The second week, all bets were off. The birth of his first child did not give way to some miraculous change in his behavior, like I had hoped.

And leaving my firstborn to care for her firstborn was the hardest thing to date that I have ever done.

Nearly three months later, Diana called me in tears. "I want to come home, mama," was all I needed to hear and we booked her a one-way ticket out of there. She and Madison are living with us, and Diana has been accepted as a volunteer—providing her and her child with health insurance and money for college—no recruiters, no contracts, no M-16 and a Kevlar vest.

The most rewarding aspect of all of this craziness over the last year has been two-fold. My younger children are thriving. They got their childhood back. No longer are we scrambling to carve out quality time with our kids. I walk them to the bus stop and greet them when they get home from school. They can run out the front door and play on over 500 acres of lush farmland. They are learning musical instruments, how to milk a cow, raise a pig and grow vegetables—and competing in BMX. Mom will never miss another birthday or soccer game, because a client needs his/her hand held. That part of our lives is over. A new chapter has begun.

The second carrot in all of this is Diana. In the five months she has been here, her self-confidence is back and she has grown into an amazing mother. She is working with people with special needs, learning to cook incredible meals, manage finances and develop real skills that will get her through life. She gets to be a working mom, and never has to hand her child over for someone else to raise. She doesn't have to send Madison to day care with a low-grade fever, or explain to her boss that she has to leave in the middle of a meeting to pick up her sick child.

I am not expecting that this change in lifestyle will erase all of the mistakes and sacrifices I made—but I am hoping that the difference I seek to make in this world will teach my children that there is something far more important than the next big thing. And we are off to a good start.