South Dakota

Just when I had a ray of hope.

Last Friday, Senator John Roberts recanted his previous stance regarding warrantless wiretapping and recommended a full Congressional investigation into the Bush administration’s unconstitutional program.

I thought for a moment, that perhaps self-proclaimed neo-conservatives were coming to their senses.

I was wrong.

Earlier this week, the Supreme Court decided to take a look at Roe v. Wade. I can’t say I was shocked. And so during Judge Samuel Alito’s first week on the bench… the country is waiting with bated breath to see where he really stands on the issue… since he refused to grab his balls and admit he is anti-abortion during his Senate confirmation hearing.

But I digress.

Today, South Dakota is seeking to overturn Roe v. Wade in a new referendum which is slated to hit Governor Mike Rounds’ desk next week. Sadly, after hours of emotional debate on the issue, the South Dakota senate decided 23-12 to outlaw all abortions, with the exception of saving the mother’s life.

Now personally, I do not think I could ever have an abortion. But that is a very personal decision.

My husband and I have had many debates over a woman’s right to choose. For the longest time, he was anti-abortion. I have always been pro-choice.

I stood in my kitchen Monday night, after hearing the news of a possible overturn of the Roe v. Wade amendment and I raised the issue with my husband. He is a former military officer, slightly right of center and now reluctantly pro-choice, as I think most of us pro-choicers are.

I asked him… what would we do? What if I were raped? Or some horribly painful birth defect was detected in the fetus? His answer was quick… we would have an abortion. It would be gut-wrenching, but my emotional and physical health is too important. And I could see a flicker of pain in his eyes just thinking about such horrific notions. Now that’s love.

And while his response was deeply touching, I thought to myself how sad it would be if the government was allowed to stand in my kitchen and point a finger at my husband and myself in our hour of mourning and say unapologetically and unequivocally “no.”

And I say “hell no.” Pro-choice is not about birth control or irresponsibility. Those morons who use abortion because they choose to cross their fingers instead of their legs are the minority among us. Those of us who believe in a woman’s (or a couple’s) right to choose is about the right to keep the government out of an emotional decision-making process between consenting adults.

And as we talked about it further… a more succinct point of discussion was on the table. Why the hell are we even debating this? Roe v. Wade should be left alone. We have more pressing issues at hand. The war in Iraq. The stand-off with Iran. American jobs being outsourced to India. New Orleans residents sleeping in their cars because they’ve been kicked out of hotel rooms with no place to go. Global warming. Corruption at the highest levels of government.

I don’t think our tax dollars are being well spent when we are more concerned about overturning a law enacted nearly thirty years ago that bears no weight on our country’s ability to protect and defend its people and the democracy set forth by our forefathers.

Judge Alito and the senators of South Dakota stand down! If you want to make a difference in the moral convictions of the American people, protect our Constitution and start bringing down those who refuse to uphold it.

Imperialism at its Finest

Is there any aspect of President Bush’s deplorable record regarding intelligence that Senator Pat Roberts, chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, is not willing to excuse and help to cover up?

For over a year, Senator Roberts has been dragging out the investigation into why the Bush administration presented farfetched and just plain wrong intelligence on Iraq and its now bogus WMD program and the claim that Sadaam was in bed with Al Qaeda. The investigation was supposed to begin after the 2004 election, and has finally resurfaced due to Democrats’ protest, forcing the Senate into a closed session late last year.

Now Senator Roberts is trying to stop an investigation into the Bush administration’s decision to allow the NSA to spy on Americans without obtaining warrants required by a 27-year-old federal law enacted to stop that sort of abuse.

Senator Roberts promised to hold a committee vote yesterday on whether to investigate. But he canceled the vote, and then made two astonishing announcements to the press. He claimed he was working with the White House on amending the 1978 law, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, to permit warrantless spying. And to make matters worse, he then stated that such an amendment would eliminate the need for an inquiry.

Preventing his own committee from performing an investigation into the wiretapping debacle without even bothering to get the all of the facts surrounding the scandal is the epitome of corruption itself. As the vice chairman of the panel, Senator John Rockefeller IV, denoted that supervising intelligence gathering is in fact the purpose of the intelligence committee.

HELLO!

Senator Rockefeller said the White House had not offered enough information to make an informed judgment possible regarding the NSA’s wiretapping program. The White House is withholding, for instance, such minute details as how the program works, how it is reviewed, how much and what kind of information is collected, and how the information is stored and used.

Senator Roberts said the White House had agreed to provide more briefings to the Senate Intelligence Committee — hardly an enormous concession since it is already required to do so. And he said he and the White House were working out “a fix” for the law. UNBELIEVABLE
FISA was written to prevent the president from violating Americans’ constitutional rights and civil liberties.

CHECKS AND BALANCES.

However, the Bush administration took the opportunity after 9/11 to amend the FISA law—so that President Bush’s cronies had an easier time of eavesdropping on America’s private citizens.

FISA, as it is written, does not in any way prevent Mr. Bush from spying on Al Qaeda members or other terrorists. The last thing America needs is to amend the law to institutionalize the imperial powers Mr. Bush seized after 9/11.

Be Nice to Your Mama

Stop me if you’ve heard this: Vice President Dick Cheney shoots his hunting companion.

Man, the Bush administration can’t catch a break. I will be tuning into “The Daily Show” tonight. Between Britney’s baby fiasco and Cheney’s “Hey Bubba, Watch This” moment… Jon Stewart has weeks of material.

Anyway. I do not follow any organized religion, I do believe in the basics… love thy neighbor, forgive thy enemy, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t steal, be nice to your mama, don’t worship celebrities and don’t kill anyone unless he aims to kill you or your kin first.

That said… “the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God; in it thou shalt not do any work…” [Ex. 20:8-10].

So, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to really bust my butt on Saturday and get the errands and the chores done… divide and conquer. And if it doesn’t get done on Saturday, it doesn’t get done. And it forces me to prioritize. So that on Sunday… I do nothing but the things I want to do… relax… spend time with the monkeys… watch a movie… go for a hike. Whatever. And this weekend it finally worked.

Right around the holidays, I had an epiphany. I looked around my house and took inventory of its contents… and I took an even harder look at my life. And I live a life of excess… and it has gotten out of control. From the sheer amount of hair products in the bathroom to the toys in the kids’ room to the small appliances in the kitchen to the countless gadgets and thingamajigs that clutter my life.

Maybe to some it sounds like an infomercial… or a vow to spring clean. But it is neither. It is about making a conscious decision every day to not fall prey to marketing and advertising and buy things I simply do not need. First things first—the clutter. Every weekend I have gone through one room in the house and really assessed the contents. Does everyone in the family need their own shampoo and/or soap? No.

And right now I am in the process of weeding out all of the crap food in the house. I no longer buy processed foods. I read an article in the New England Journal of Medicine raising concerns about the hydrogenating process so many foods go through before they hit the shelves in your local supermarket. These processes have been linked to all kinds of digestive cancers and illnesses, and heart disease. A good rule of thumb—if you can’t pronounce more than five ingredients, you shouldn’t eat it. That rules out about 75% of what is on a grocer’s shelf. And it forces us to get back to basics.

Growing up, my mother cooked every meal… even when she rejoined the workforce. We ate every meal at home, or we brought our lunch to school. As kids, we knew to be home by six. Everyone sat at the dinner table. No TV in the background.

We didn’t have a microwave until I was a teenager… and when we did get one, we used it to heat up mom’s leftovers… not a Lean Cuisine.

And that’s where we are finally at. After months of wondering how I could do it, I have. I am a working mother and wife. I get home at six every night. But I have managed to go without fast food for six months and convenience foods for two months now. We are all healthier for it. We don’t typically sit down to dinner until 6:30 or 7… but we turn the TV off and make a point to do this.

My family life isn’t perfect. Far from it. But when I look at all of the crap on TV. And in magazines and newspapers and the Internet… simplification makes up for less-than-perfect.

For the kids… no TV during the week and no TV after 10:00 a.m. on the weekends. Same goes for the adults. We don’t turn the TV on until we are in bed… and then we read or watch the news.

We sit down to dinner. Every night. No matter what.

Maybe, if the American people could step back and re-buy into the lifestyles of our parents and grandparents… maybe we could turn the Titanic around.

Eating together will do wonders for your children. Eliminating the amount of hair products in your bathroom will do wonders for your sense of accomplishment. Taking Dick Cheney’s rifle away will do wonders for innocent bystanders. And turning the TV off will do wonders for our country.

Except for “The Daily Show” after a member of the Bush administration f*cks up… again.

THAT is quality entertainment.

Smoke and Mirrors

I don’t watch network news.

CNN. FOX. MSNBC.

I feel like a sheep when I watch these channels. They’ve all become these theatre productions with overblown headlines, brightly colored graphics, slick camera angles and projectile text complete with sound effects aimed to grab my attention… or spill my beer.

It’s all a “smoke and mirrors” attempt at hiding bad journalism.

And when networks can’t deliver good journalism, they resort to news delivered by non-journalistic Tom Brokaw wannabes like attorney Greta van Susteren of O.J. Simpson fame or former Congressmen like Joe Scarborough to give biased reports based on the most idiotic interview processes I have ever seen.

And don’t even get me started on Bill O’Reily. Of trash journalism “Inside Edition” fame? Please.

Anderson Cooper is the closest thing to Peter Jennings that network news has seen in years. And even he is a product of the glitz machine.

So… I tune into alternative news programs like Democracy Now! on Dish Network’s Free Speech TV.

It takes a few times to re-train our brains to listen to a professional journalist deliver the headlines. Amy Goodman doesn’t have her own make-up artist or hair stylist. She doesn’t wear suits by Dolce and Gabbana. She is a plain woman. But I can respect her. She isn’t reporting the news because it looks good on her resume. She is a true journalist. Always seeking the truth. Unbiased. Bipartisan. And no stupid questions.

I watched the news last night. And I wanted to cry. The Bush administration released the proposed 2007 budget yesterday.

President Bush proposed nearly $2.8 trillion budget and is calling for major increases in defense spending but deep cuts in Medicare and other domestic social programs. Under the proposed budget, defense spending will increase nearly seven percent to $440 billion. If approved the Pentagon’s budget will become 45 percent larger than when Bush took office five years ago.

Meanwhile, cuts are being made in hundreds of domestic programs, including education programs, environmental protection programs, numerous programs to assist low-income families, children, and elderly and disabled people, and research related to cancer, heart disease, and other medical conditions. In one case, the Center estimates 420,000 low-income seniors will lose food assistance from the Commodity Supplemental Food Program.

But what really stirred my emotions was the news that President Bush has proposed $27 million to restart the nuclear weapons program. I am still too stunned to respond. Except to say that by even bringing this issue to the table, we are trampling all over the world peace initiatives brought forth by great former leaders and presidents.

To add insult to injury, President Bush has also proposed to cut grant programs that help state and local authorities deal with evacuations, mass casualties, and managing catastrophes. Meanwhile in New Orleans, the city’s mayor, Ray Nagin, has publicly admitted he may begin seeking international aid to help rebuild the city because the federal government has been so slow in funding the reconstruction.

It’s heartbreaking.

What are we doing? When George Bush came to office, we had a budget surplus. Now we are so far in the hole, it will take a generation to bail us out. We are no longer interested in taking care of our own… our seniors will be left with less health care… our children will be left with less education and public service.

And now Karl Rove is threatening to pull political support of Republican senators who comply with Congressional hearings in the wiretapping fiasco. And indicted U.S. Representative Tom DeLay has been elected to the House Appropriations committee.

Stay tuned.

A Tall Drink of Water

Damn. The radio is playing Journey’s “Open Arms.”

Every time I hear that song I get all choked up inside. Music is powerful.

It was the summer before ninth grade. He lived across the street from me and I can still see his face. He was a tall drink of water with deep blue eyes and a Kurt Russell smile.

His name was Brian. He was my first crush. I pined after him throughout middle school. But he was out of my league. A junior—on the Varsity football team and a new (blonde) girlfriend every week.

That summer—I blossomed—finally. And one night, the neighborhood kids were hanging out in his yard, and on a dare—he asked me to follow him to the side of his house.

He knew I’d never been kissed before. I was the neighborhood nerd—the good little Catholic girl, who went to private school while my friends went to the public schools—and whose father was an Air Force hard ass.

My girlfriend had her little boom box—and all I remember is feeling warm all over, and him leaning into me, kissing me like I’ve never been kissed since. And Steve Perry was belting out “Open Arms.”

We didn’t see much of each other after that summer. Last I heard, he got a girl pregnant his senior year… blew his ride to the University of Colorado… married her… and wound up in jail for vehicular manslaughter—killed a woman because he was driving drunk.

It’s funny where the road takes us. We never know at the tender age of fourteen—where we will land and who will be waiting for us when we get there.

I’m sure he doesn’t remember that night. And that song probably means something else for him.

I hope he is all right. Wherever he is.

I just think it’s funny. How a song can suck you right back to a time in your life that changed you forever. Powerful stuff.

Six Weeks and Counting

No nookie again.

Not for lack of want. That’s never been the issue. Blame last night on sheer exhaustion.

Between all of the loads of laundry, house cleaning and countless errands, sex seems to have fallen way down on our ‘to do’ list.

We have good intentions. I wore the ‘easy access’ nightie to bed last night… which screams “we are having sex tonight.”

And in the end, he wanted his usual. I didn’t. He was too tired to make a greater effort. So, we fell asleep to a depressing movie. And once again, a weekend goes by and I don’t get laid.

What happened to [throw you down on the bed, tear your clothes off, I wanna f*ck not make love, out of breath, sweaty, lay there for twenty minutes afterward because you can’t move because it was so good] sex???

It’s been six weeks.

I’m about to crawl right out of my skin.

I lay in bed last night, as he snored… and pleased myself. It’s not the same, but it will do in a pinch.

And as I sit here, trying to focus on the upcoming meeting I have with a client… I am wondering…

Is every couple like this? From sunrise to sunset we are moving at warp speed.

Get up. Pee. Get ready for work. Let the dog out. Get first cup of java. Wake kids up. Break up the usual squabbles while putting on make-up. Argue with six-year-old about dress code while combing out her tangles with pick because I can’t find the hairbrush. Help son find other shoe. Find other shoe in toy box along with hairbrush. Fix breakfast. Explain to six-year-old that brown cows don’t necessarily make chocolate milk while wiping syrup from lapel that son flung from fork while pointing at the dog eating other child’s waffle. Get kids bundled up and in the car, making two trips back inside for lunches… and coffee for the road. Drop kids off at school. Arrive at work.

Leave work late. Break ten traffic laws to ensure that children are picked up on time. Break up petty squabbles while pumping gas and picking up milk. Arrive home. Kiss mate. Pee. Start dinner. Download my day to mate while making lunches, preparing dinner and going through kids’ take-home folders. Eat. Remind myself at least ten times to maintain patience level as son drops food on the floor for the third time. Run kids through the shower like a car wash, stopping to open shampoo once and remind son to stop dancing in the shower four times, while picking up mess left from the morning. Pee. Finish folding last load of laundry. Put kids to bed, taking a moment to relish in their smallness. Take shower. Read with the news on. Pass out while still holding book.

I’m sure there is more.

On so many levels.

Enough Already

There is too much talk about Cindy Sheehan.

I’ve commented at other blog sites about my views of Cindy Sheehan and her recent actions, specifically her arrest before the State of the Union address earlier this week.

There are a lot of folks out there who view her as a media hog. And even more who have labeled her mentally unstable.

Many folks argue that Cindy’s arrest Tuesday night was due to her disregard for the rules of attending this annual event… and that this was just one more attempt at publicity.

However, her behavior was neither inappropriate or illegal, as stated by the Deputy House Sergeant of Arms in the House Gallery, where Ms. Sheehan was seated:

“[They] were operating under the misguided impression that the T-shirt was not allowed,” Deputy House Sergeant of Arms Kerri Hanley said Wednesday. “The fact that she was wearing a T-shirt is not enough reason to be asked to leave the gallery, or be removed from the gallery, or be arrested.”

That said, I think most of my fellow bloggers would agree that regardless of our personal station or situation, when we break the law in this country… we pay with a slice of freedom.

Cindy Sheehan… right or wrong… is no exception.

But to assign her has mentally unstable or a media hog is both irrelevant and unsubstantiated.

She is only as much of a media hog as we the people allow her to be. If we are so tired of Ms. Sheehan’s antics… we have the power to tune it out and turn it off. And when we tune out, the networks lose ratings. And when networks lose ratings, they move on to a new story. Problem solved.

Lastly, to defend (for the last time) Ms. Sheehan’s mental health… I must throw down my trump card.

I’m not a big believer in organized religion. I’ll save that rant for another posting. But I do believe in God. And I believe in the basic dogma of Christianity… love thy neighbor. It is what this country was founded upon.

Judge not, lest ye be judged. [Matthew 7:1].

Most of us have not walked a mile in Ms. Sheehan’s shoes. Losing a child must be the most painful experience a human being can endure. To wake up every morning and know that you will never again see their face or hear their voice… to know they will never marry or have children of their own. I cannot imagine that kind of pain.

So while I do not support ANY action that breaks the law… I do not accept any attack against her as a person. I pray for her. I pray for her to feel peace again. Soon enough, her fifteen minutes of fame will be up… but she will have to live the rest of her life mourning her son.

For that, she owes us no apologies.

Hold your children a little closer tonight.

A Full Set of Tools

This is the first chance I’ve had in nearly two weeks to sit down and write my thoughts. I was going to title this entry “I’m in Hell” but that would not be a fair representation…

Life isn’t that bad actually. It could be worse. Just turn on the news at any given hour and we are humbly reminded how much worse it could be.

Prior to my marriage, I’d been single for about four years. There were things I missed about companionship… dinner and a movie… inside jokes… sex… a warm body to snuggle up to at night… a full set of tools.

But it wasn’t until I got married again… that I remembered exactly why I enjoyed being single. The remote? Mine. The bathroom? Mine. The closets. All mine.

And you don’t know how quirky you are until you live with another person.

I am a walking contradiction… some of my quirks border on clinical OCD. The dinner plates have to be stacked according to the pattern/color. Glasses have to be placed neatly in a row in the cabinet. Towels have to be hung “just so” on the towel bar. I am constantly straightening. I can’t stand clutter. Clean is king and everything has to be “just so.”

But I never balanced my checkbook, and I would forget to pay my bills had it not been for the miracle of electronic banking. I was always running late and my car was constantly on empty.

And life was good.

I was the mother and the father to my kids. The breadwinner. The nurturer. The handy-man. The hot little single mama that all the women on my block hated because every Saturday morning, their husbands were camped out on their front lawns… watching me mow the grass.

And then one day, I went to work and came home and all of his stuff was in my house.

And it’s been a struggle ever since. Now I have satellite everything. More remotes than I know what to do with. The SPEED channel. Spreadsheets with budgets and spending and savings columns. Stereo/video equipment with instruction manuals that read like War and Peace. Crumbs on the counter from his turkey sandwich. Dirty clothes draped over furniture. Short little man-hairs in the bathroom sink. And a milk carton with barely a swallow left in the jug stashed in the back of the fridge.

I try to focus on the good things.

I love this man. Down to the bone marrow. He is a good man. The kind of man a girl can really count on.

He brings me tea when I am sick. He comes out to the car to greet me and walks me to the door when the sidewalk is covered in ice. He reaches out for my hand in public. He holds the door. He dances with me in the living room. Fast or slow.

These are the things I need to remember the next time he lectures me about shelving the “Blues Brothers” DVD under “Classics” instead of “Comedy."